The Two Week Wait

We all know The Two Week Wait all too well.

After resigning yourself to another month of non-pregnancy you gather your strength to endure another cycle. You restock your tampons, buy a new pack of pregnancy tests, and sharpen your pencil for a new month of early morning temperature recordings.

You are trying to conceive. Again.

The first week is easy. You have the hassle of your period but you deal with it. More than anything you are glad you don't have to have sex just because the calendar or temps indicate that you should. You get a break from "trying".

The next week... not so much.

It's time to obsess about cervical fluid and mittelschmerz. You take the time each day to tune into those subtle little clues from your body... the body that has already let you down so many times before. It's time to seduce your husband even if you aren't in the mood. It's time to elevate your hips and allow gravity to help your conception efforts. It's time to start behaving like the pregnant woman you soooooo hope to be.

After week two, you find relief in knowing the "trying" part is over- but wait- now it's "THE WAIT". That's even worse!!!!!!

The Two Week Wait (a.k.a The Wait) is a period of torture. I know many perfectly sane, rational, level headed women who become crazy obsessors during The Wait. Every hint of nausea (even from 3 day old rotting garbage or offensive poopy diapers) causes a debate in her brain. She wonders if it was the first sign of morning sickness? Every bout of tiredness makes her wonder if she's pregnant?! Every emotional outburst or mood swing causes her to wonder if she's got pregnancy hormones starting to take over her body?

The second week of The Wait is the finale to the cycle and it can't end soon enough! It could either be the beginning of the best thing in her life or it could be the unfair end of another month of hope and unanswered prayers.

If you're like me... the second week of The Wait usually includes at least one pregnancy test. Why wait until a missed period to find out? If it's possible to find out sooner, why not kill your curiosity? ;-) It's a great idea if the test comes back positive. If it comes back negative though, you just talk yourself out of giving up and you begin to plan the next morning you'll test. You will not believe you aren't pregnant until you're bleeding and cursing Aunt Flo! And even then, I've sometimes argued with logic.

I think The Wait is definitely the hardest part of trying to conceive. I hate the wishing, the hoping, the wondering, the dreaming, the planning, the praying, the figuring out dates and mapping out milestones. Last month I vowed to quit doing that but I just can't turn my brain off. I know this game too well to forget about the facts and way things work. I can't not notice cervical fluid and I can't pretend to not know what cycle day I am on.

This is why I don't temp. I know charting is a great thing for most people but when I did it, I became waaaaay too focused on this aspect of life. Waking up every single morning and needing the first thought to be about my reproductive clock... I just can't do it. I have decided if I don't get pregnant by the new year I will start temping, just to get a better idea of when I am ovulating, but I really hope it doesn't come to that because I hate it.

I pray you all are doing well enduring The Wait and I pray a bunch of you have happy news in the months to come. I hate that so many people in my life have to endure the same crazy cycle as me- the ups and downs- the wanting and waiting and hoping and praying- while everyone around you seems to never have a thought about it.

TRY to remember that this is just an aspect of life- not your whole entire life. It should never be your whole life otherwise you are missing out on other parts. This reminder is as much for me as it is for you. Thanks to a certain friend this week, I got the friendly reminder to not stress and get too crazy, and I hope I can put it into practice as I slide into The 2 week Wait.

--Hope